Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in The Black Angels' LiveJournal:

Friday, July 15th, 2005
1:23 pm	Rocky here... Anyone know how we can make this thing a community? And all post? And stuff? Stuff like that? Stuff stuff stuff... (Comment on this)
1:22 pm	GToD!!! or, "Go-Go still doesn't have AIM for Gang Chat because her internet access at home was cut off because she can't pay her phone bill and if she gets caught with the AIM at work her ass is grass so shut the fuck up"!!!!   Ahem.  I recently received the entire contents of a storage unit containing pretty much every surviving possession of mine from K-12.  Among these contents: a big box of "Archie" comic books, which Rocky used to read at camp.  Well, I mean, not THESE books that *I* have, but other books that she had.  As a wee little camp-going, horseback-riding lady.  Anyway, so I've been re-reading these books, for lack of anything else to do and lack of initiative to actually find anything else do.  And, after hours upon hours of painstaking calculations and research, I have decided who each of the Black Angels would be dating in good ol' Riverdale:   Tuff: Veronica.  No contest Rocky: Dilton Doiley, the smart little genius guy with glasses, b/c in real life he would be some egghead indie kid. Lex: Jughead, because he is tall and skinny with dark hair, and I am pretty sure he's a stoner b/c he eats all the time and never opens his eyes all the way.  Go-Go: Betty, because she is a big loser who never has a legitimate date and is a total GC to the max.    If any of the Black Angels are not familiar with these masterworks of literature and the characters therein, look them up on the world wide internet.  I am sure there plenty of Archie-related websites out there, as I'm sure there are also people out there as dorky as I am who devote time to pursuing asinine topics such as this one.   Please discuss.  Ready.....go.   Goo, Gang Liberrian   And remember, this is a LI-BERRY, not a CRY-BERRY. --Newsflash, weiner! You ain't never gonna be in the Black Angels! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
12:29 pm	In honor of the upcoming New Year... I almost forgot how much I loved Dateline:Kennel from the Lileks site. In the interest of the Black Angels' new plan of making old things new (which is a plan that I very much love, because there have been some wonderful times to revisit): FutureDog! Dog of The Future! One of those dreadful 60s glimpses into the world to come, when bouffanted women would stuff Asta in a plastic crypt when they were off slamming MaiTais and smoking Silva Thins [1]. The poor dog is even wearing a cape, which is even more mortifying. Dogs do not want to wear capes. Dogs are not interested in the future. The writing on the bottom of the cage, incidentally, says “Patent Pending.” What possible patent could they have for this device? A new way of making dogs find it impossible to get comfortable? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [1] From the book I am currently reading (see, not just old stuff!)(well, the essay is from 1996), How To Be Alone, by Jonathan Franzen, an essay about cigarettes and smoking entitled "Sifting the Ashes": Silva Thins - "...American Tobacco product that wooed the female demographic with such appalling copy as "Cigarettes are like girls, the best ones are rich and thin." So put that in your Futurebook, Chris!  And ummm....smoke...it...? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
12:08 pm	Archival This is the beginning - the first signs of Lex I can find.  And it's SUCH a classic!! ------------------------ From: jaltman; on behalf of; Rocky the Knife [jaltman@amazon.com] To: adamp Cc: Lex Ruthless Subject: just for the record... Sent: Wed 6/2/1999 4:50 PM I did NOT put Lex Ruthless (perhaps known to you as mbonanno) up to that - asking you to adopt us.  I am not sure, even, that she is/was aware of my campaign to move in... However, now that the topic has come up (once again), I did want to point out that even though I've got my own place now, and I'm a big girl, out in the real world, testing my wings, leaving the nest, yadda yadda yadda (translation: "and stuff"), don't worry about not seeing me anymore! I mean, i'll still be coming home on weekends, and for holidays and stuff (so remind manya to set a place for one more at the ol' dinner table! wait - 2, with lex. oh, and kristen, of course. and roscoe. the dog comes too. so that's 4. remember, 4 extra places each holiday. and sunday. because that's family day. god bless), and to do my laundry. and to use the phone for long distance calls and stuff. like i mentioned before, pretty much the same deal - tuition's done, no grad school in the near future (but it may still happen), i'll finish paying off the student loans, i've got benefits (from my stupid job...), BUT you will still have to cover food and stuff like that. easter candy. school shoes. and so forth. and my boyfriend shane "supervisor" alderton rides a motorcycle, so he's kind of a bad boy. you may want to forbid me to see him anymore. god, and then we'll fight, and manya will cry, and there'll be a whole lot of door slamming. Also, when lex is home to visit at the same time as me, then i still get the big room, and she can't touch my stuff. OW! stop hitting me! leave me alone! no! you are! YOU ARE!! shut up! i'll KICK you down that damn aisle! adam! aaaaadaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm!! yay, family! go team! Current Mood: touched (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
5:07 pm	Black Angels Email Flashback (1st in a series of many) From:  Clauson, Kristen [kclauson@amazon.com] To:  Clauson, Kristen; Bonanno, Melanie Cc:  blackangel_rocky@yahoo.com Subject:  RE: shut UP!!!!!!!!! Sent:  Tue 11/6/2001 9:28 AM   by the by, who votes that we induct this as our newest gang weapon?  it can somehow occasionally be integrated with the POBAPOD.  perfection, i tellya. -----Original Message----- From: Clauson, Kristen Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 12:27 PM To: Bonanno, Melanie Cc: 'blackangel_rocky@yahoo.com' Subject: shut UP!!!!!!!!! </td></tr>   Keith Howe Cashier "To think that just a short time ago, the biggest worry in opening your mail was that a package might contain a spring-propelled boxing glove that knocked you unconscious."     (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
1:58 pm	GToD: Policy in the event of hitching. This meeting of the Black Angels has come to order. Goo? Could you take the minutes, please? The first matter of business SHOULD be what to do about our gang outfits, 'cause I saw the Incredibles, and now I have to wonder why WEEE don't have our own designer and wonder fabric and outfits that exemplify our individual gang member strengths and stuff... But first, we have a policy issue. What happens if a Black Angel gets hitched? 'Cause, uh... me & JMC have decided I should be the matron of fire instead of the mistress. And stuff. In a year and a half. So, uh, am I going to have to pay higher gang dues? Does JMC have to perform any ritualistic sacrifices to the Black Angels or go through some sort of Official Future Spouse of a Black Angel (OFSoaBA) hazing or something? It's not like just anyone gets to be a Black-Angel-In-Law. Thoughts, please. xoxo, Lexie. Current Mood: Official (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 18th, 2004
2:14 pm	"homie don't play that." I just overheard one of my co-workers say this, in reaction to something someone else said. She said it overloud, like she wanted to hear herself say it, because it sounded cool and glib. This place is a goldmine. Honestly. -G.C. Current Mood: amazed. Current Music: see subject line. (16 Comments |Comment on this)
12:58 pm	Best Newest OFoTBA Trampus Conway. I do believe that is the world's finest name. I don't know Trampus, but how could one fail to live up to a name like Trampus Conway? Therefore let us write Trampus a letter and invite him to be an Official Friend of the Black Angels. And ask him if he has a sister named Slatternina. Do you think he drives a T-Top?? Sincerely, Goo Gang Librarian (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 11th, 2004
4:28 pm	Ladies. Lex Ruthless here... I have just now read the last month of gang-related Live Journal materials. Rocky has a job? Tuff's gay? Goo drinks saki??? WHAT HAVE *I* BEEN DOING?! Nothing. I'm too deep undercover, like Jennifer Jason Leigh in Rush. The heroin is taking control. Am I Lex Ruthless (a.k.a. Serpico), gang-tough email master of human life? Or am I a textbook-reading, too-studious-to-get-high, mild-mannered ho-HUMMER?!!?!?! FUCK. I play Scrabble more frequently than I write e-mail. I can't even remember where I parked my go-kart. I found my danger knife buried under a pile of knitting. You ladies aren't going to kick me out of the gang, right? You'll send me to gang rehab so I can toughen up? I'll try harder. I just kicked a little kid in the nuts, that's tough, right??? Don't let me turn out like Vood... I need Official Black Angel Gang Rehab Interventions (OBAGRIs). I anxiously await your reply. With garbage-flavor baited breath. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: KEXP (20 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 5th, 2004
4:43 pm	They call me the Tamponator China.....Cheri Oteri Ana.....Ana Gasteyer Nicki.....Gwyneth Paltrow Mary Katherine Gallagher.....Molly Shannon Sister Harriet.....Paula Pell Priest.....Will Ferrell [ open on exterior, St. Monica's High School. Fade to interior, girl's restroom, where girl gang The Black Angels enter ] China: Oh, my God! I can't believe we stole the community wine! Ana: We would've gotten the wafers, too, if it hadn't fallen out of your bra. Nicki: [ smoking cigarette ] Shut up! I'm just getting a good buzz going! China: Do you think Jesus saw us? [ empties the communal wine in the sink ] Nicki: Where is this chick? Read that note again! Ana: [ pulls note out of jacket and reads ] "Dear Black Angels: I wanna be in your gang. Meet me in the lavatory after choir practice. Sincerely, Little Miss Tough Cookie." Nicki: [ laughing ] Who in this school thinks they're tough enough to be a Black Angel? Mary Katherine Gallagher: [ runs out of stall ] Mary Katherine Gallagher! ( Read on, ladies... ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
12:18 pm	No. It is a bad, bad, bad, bad day. On a lighter note, I saw the genesis for our gang the other night: the SNL episode w/the sketch in which MKG takes the Black Angels. "I'llkillya! I'llkillya! I'llkillya! I'llkillya! I'llkillya!" So that's good or whatever. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 25th, 2004
5:39 pm	Announcing... Drumroll please... The newest member of the Official Friends of the Black Angels (OFOTBA): Please welcome Olivia Jane Alderton - who, as Shane says, "decided to crash the party 3 weeks early..." Let's hear it for Lolo!!! And now, the proud father: Please note Shane's lovely wife, Jana, who I can only assume is sitting pretty in the hospital bed. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 22nd, 2004
10:36 pm	you are right, rocky. We need some rivals. first up: GAR. the FAKE-ASS FAKE "Black Angel(s)." Whatevs, Gar. He's got an ass-kicking coming to him. What about........real estate developers? They are the subject of my new vendetta. True, they are not exactly a "gang", but they've got to have an association or something - on both coasts, I'll just bet - and we can infiltrate and crash their lame real-estate congratulation parties (free booze, free food!) I mean, how much more low-key can you get than a goddamn real estate party? Talk about lame. But not as lame as GAR. He's first in line. Or what about......Mary Kay salesladies? Well, they never really hurt anyone, I guess. But they do drive pink cars. Do they deserve an ass-kickin'? I don't know, I could maybe never forgive myself, as bad-ass as I am, for knocking over a 72-year-old Mary Kay saleslady and stomping on her sales case just to prove I'm a tough-guy. Or, speaking of Mary Kay....THE OLSEN TWINS!!!! RIGHT ON!!! They're sort of a gang. A freaky, troll-faced, super-rich, Wal-Mart clothes-peddling gang of two people who look exactly like one another except for different hair colors. But I think we'd get shot if we tried that. Hey, Rocky, why don't you try and suss that one out (not the getting shot, just the rumbling with the Olsen Twins.) They go to NYU. US magazine told me. "They're Just Like Us!!" OK. I'm out of ideas for now. xo - Goo Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Brother For Sale (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:22 pm	Gang Topic of the Day: We need some rivals! As we have all learned from movies about alien invasion of the Earth, nothing brings people together more than a little competition.  What I'm saying here, people, is that we need to fight some other gangs in order to...well, in order to give us something to do.  I myself am unemployed, so I have taken it upon myself to get the ball rolling on this endeavor.  I'm in the process of searching the internet for some rival gangs.  I figure this is the easiest way to find some, since you can find just about anything on the internet.  Maybe eBay will have some listed. In the past, we have resorted to making up gangs to fight, including such possibilities as The Cosmo.com Bike Delivery Guys (Lex deemed them too cute, the rest of us simply deemed them too fast), The Valet Parking Staff at Morton's Steakhouse (still my favorite, due to the inevitable involvement of parking cones), and of course, The Night Crew at Old Navy (they were the winners because of the conveyor belt they used to unload stock from the trucks - leading to our first hit movie, Black Angels on the Belt, which did not, despite some initial confusion, refer to the Bible Belt.  That will be our next movie). This time, I think, since we have obviously become such a well-organized gang, and since we have proved that our status as a bi-coastal gang does not decrease our gang enthusiasm (although it is occasionally slightly detrimental to Gang Nights Out), we can now take on bigger and better rivals.  Namely, ones that have already proclaimed themselves organizations, and who are aware that they actually exist as cohesive groups (unlike the people we were previously targeting, who would have been very confused by an attack. Which at least gave us the benefit of the element of surprise - there is nothing like taking on a pack of nuns who have no idea that there is a dangerous roving internet gang looking for a fight to scare the mother-lovin' bejesus out of them). Okay, so the first and most obvious place to start - other Black Angels.  Why not?  Because, hey, fuck 'em, right?  ( So here goes... ) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
8:29 am	in Seattle there are 2 black angels in the "emerald city" right now. although i am going back to yakima tonight for the weekend, courtesy of some little shuttle-thingy, and i forgot my blanket so i can sleep on the bus (or shuttle, or whatever.) yesterday i was supposed to meet lex at the elysian, and i am so rad that i fell asleep for like 9 hours and completely missed my window of opportunity to drink pumpkin ale and eat an eggplant parmigian (um, sp?) sandwich, not to mention seeing the Ruthless. i am stupid. i wish i could elaborate on my week but i don't have time right now. rest assured i will be doing so tonight, probably while sloshed, and i know you're all waiting with bated breath. baited breath? yuck. xo - goo ps - i love jessie's new best friend, kathleen hanna. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 21st, 2004
2:49 pm	Go-Go Loves Kathleen From the Entertainment News Desk of the Black Angels Headquarters: On Tuesday I went to see Le Tigre at an in-store show at a little-known, underground music store called Tower Records.  Can you even with JD in this picture?  Because I so cannot.  After the show (and a quick dinner at Panna II, "Where Chili-Pepper Lights Meets Christmas Tree Lights," and also "Where Rocky Once Ran Into Her Showtune-Singin' Cousin Scott in the Middle of the Afternoon,"), I went to the after-party here:  The Tribeca Grand is very grand, indeed. While I did manage to snag a poster and some stickers, I did not manage to get Kathleen Hanna to agree to marry Goo.  I did not even actually talk to Kathleen Hanna.  But that's okay, Goo - I know your heart belongs to Neko Case.  Want a sticker, though? Lex? Sticker? They're black and silver and they say Le Tigre and they look very tuff. xo, Rocky the Knife (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
2:19 pm	Are you ready to rumble? Okay, Black Angels.  Here we go.  First order of business - who are the other Black Angels on LiveJournal?  When trying to select a username, I came across the following two people: black_angels  and  blackangels . The former is the journal of "Max Fischer," which is the name of the main character in Rushmore, and may very well *not* be this guy's real name.  Therefore, he is a LIAR.  He also listens to Steve Vai.  Not that I'm the type to judge - of course not!  I'm just sayin'.  The latter is just a guy named Gary.  Gary hasn't updated since 2001, when he wrote one introductory entry, and left it at that.  He also signed it "Gar," which is a stupid nickname, because, really, how hard is it to put that last letter in there?  What a waste of a good username.  Hugs and Kisses, Rocky the Knife P.S. "Goo," on the other hand, is a great nickname.  Current Mood: Bllloooood! Current Music: not Steve Vai (Comment on this)